It’s pretty much a fact that at some age, try as we might to avoid it, all women turn into their mothers. Organizing drawers of Tupperware, wearing sensible shoes, talking to themselves, developing an unhealthy attachment to a plant, and remembering to bring a sensible sweater—these are the kinds of things all women over 35, whether they be mothers or wives or neither, have found themselves doing.
Writer Anne Thériault tweeted a list of goals that women over 35 should have achieved. It has nothing to do with having a certain amount of money or creating a family and everything to do with curating (in the most delightful turn of phrase) the perfect “library of sighs.”
By the age of 35, every woman should:
– be walking around the house saying, “Why is every single light on? Do I look like I’m made of money? Open a curtain for once, will you?”
– wonder aloud why this room that she just tidied is messy again
– have developed a library of sighs— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) April 6, 2019
Her tweet reads,
By the age of 35, every woman should:
– be walking around the house saying, “Why is every single light on? Do I look like I’m made of money? Open a curtain for once, will you?”
– wonder aloud why this room that she just tidied is messy again
– have developed a library of sighs
Thériault’s tweet went viral and people chimed in with their own ideas of what it means to be a woman of 35.
– enters a room and must find a way to get the air circulating in there
— Molly Priddy (@mollypriddy) April 6, 2019
-go to CVS & decide to go aisle by aisle with the resolution: “if I don’t spend over $100 on beauty products I wasn’t even looking for, I will resign as a woman.”
-hangdry all of my clothing so I never have to go shopping again
-“drinking wine” is just my whole personality— Maria Heinegg (@MariaHeinegg) April 7, 2019
If, by the age of 35,you are not having animated one sided conversations with yourself, better check your birth certificate just to be sure you got your age right.
— Becca Stokes (@beccastokes) April 6, 2019
I'd like to add "aggressively wiping counters"
— KP (@NotGIJoe) April 7, 2019
In addition I mutter “what the actual hell?” 300 times a day under my breath and feel this another 300… pic.twitter.com/ITDou6R8gC
— Sarah Cooke (@SAHoganCooke) April 6, 2019
I’d like to submit: ‘for fuck’s sake!’ to this list.
— FemBoss (@clinicboss) April 6, 2019
also getting up to get something from another room only to get there and forget what you were supposed to grab so you sit down again and immediately remember what it was you meant to get in the first place UGH
— meaghan (@aterriblehandle) April 6, 2019
If, by the age of 35, you are not having animated one sided conversations with yourself, better check your birth certificate just to be sure you got your age right.
— Becca Stokes (@beccastokes) April 6, 2019
And it turns out it’s not just 35-year-old women who have these characteristics.
If, by the age of 35, you are not having animated one sided conversations with yourself, better check your birth certificate just to be sure you got your age right.
— Becca Stokes (@beccastokes) April 6, 2019
Everybody just loved the “library of sighs” part.
Sighbrary!!!
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) April 6, 2019
Library of Sighs is my new favorite fake band name ????
— Sally J. (@sally_j) April 6, 2019
“Library of Sighs” is now the title of my next novel, regardless of what it’s about. Thank you. ???????? ???????? ????????
— Jennifer C. Epstein (@JennCodyEpstein) April 7, 2019
Brb, getting my sighbrary card.
