Twitter Just Found The Worst Instagram Account To Ever Exist And You’ll Want To Spend Hours Soaking It All In

BySyndicated Content via Ruin My Week

On Friday, February 8, there was a hole torn through the social media space time continuum by Twitter account @wwwdotyoutube. The caption—an unassuming “found a new guy”—could in no way have prepared any of us for the screenshots attached to the post.

The images are screenshots of posts by the dude running the Instagram account @hardrocknick, and…well, the best way to describe them is this Chrissy Teigen tweet:

https://twitter.com/wwwdotyoutube/status/1094006254735892486

The captions under each of Nick’s photos—usually a pursed-lip selfie—are what can only be described as individual works of art. It’s as though he painstakingly plucked the worst possible characteristics from the douchiest, least self-aware humans (men) alive, and bestowed them upon himself.

Each post gets more and more absurd and it’s difficult to believe this isn’t a total hoax. (If it is, Chrissy Teigen HERSELF fell for it.)

Also, everything he writes is 100% a lie.

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Here, hardrocknick negs the sh*t out of any ladies even considering making him their ex-boyfriend.

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His colored brows and eyelash extensions are also unusual. Not because he’s a man, but because he claims to hate them. (Also, he’s a Trump supporter.)

In fact, this summary is a nearly-comprehensive bio of hardrocknick’s life. He wants you to know he’s rich, tattooed, and received at least one Amazon package a week.

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He also wants any interested parties to know he’s packin’.

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OP continued adding @hardrocknick posts to the thread. Here’s one where he appears to have found a (high-school senior) girlfriend who…isn’t allowed to eat french fries?:

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Here’s another, where he offers the plebes of Instagram a look into the breakfast of  “a man with $75 million cash.”

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“This is at a diner. there are jelly packets,” OP points out.

At this point, @wwwdotyoutube switches gears to @hardrocknick’s Facebook. It turns out our dude’s name is Nicholas Rock Johannsen, he is as racist as he is misogynistic, and he appears to be looking for a girlfriend again.

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(Though, granted, the chronology of this is unconfirmed. Johannsen may still very well be seeing his fry-averse teenage girlfriend.)

In a subsequent Facebook post, Johannsen breaks down his “10 TURNS OFFS IN A WOMAN IN ORDER OF LEVEL OF TURNOFFEDNESS.”

(Honestly, I’m with him on that last one. But #4 is a bit much coming from a man in lipstick.)

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Johannsen got a bite from one Ms. Warren. This is their rollercoaster of an exchange:

OP’s Twitter thread about Johannsen racked up nearly 40,000 likes in three days’ time, prompting many to search out the human enigma themselves, and to share their findings with the class.

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My personal favorite is this video where Nick proves he has good credit:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BtvCR6SHWIT/

Also this selfie taken at every multi-millionaire’s favorite Italian eatery, Buca di Beppo.

Also, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS:

https://twitter.com/and0p/status/1094343451729149952

https://twitter.com/and0p/status/1094343779501379584

After learning there was a viral Twitter thread making fun of him, @hardrocknick posted several Instagram DMs from supportive “fans.”

https://www.instagram.com/p/BtvtXmdnZdW/

(Imported velvet???)

https://www.instagram.com/p/Btv46SzHQ61/

https://www.instagram.com/p/Btv-bLFHyjd/

This did nothing to stop the flood of questions, comments, and concerns on Twitter.

Ladies, if a racist and misogynistic naughty biblical king is your speed, hit Nick up. And remember to  #pleaseusedialsoap.

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